Glossary
Dress code
The rule at the door that sets the mood inside, and sometimes decides whether you get in at all.
What is a dress code?
A dress code is a clothing rule a club or party sets: what you have to wear, or specifically may not wear, to get in. At swingers clubs and fetish parties the dress code sets the mood and helps filter who fits. The rules range from smartly dressed to head-to-toe latex.
| Dutch term | dresscode, written as one word in Dutch |
| What it is | a clothing rule you have to follow to get in |
| Where | swingers clubs, fetish parties and play parties |
| Purpose | to set the mood and help decide who gets in |
| Range | from ‘smartly dressed’ to ‘head-to-toe latex, or you are not getting in’ |
| Key condition | read the rules in advance; when in doubt, a phone call saves a letdown at the door |
How strict a dress code can be
At the strict end a dress code is a hard condition, not a suggestion. According to the encyclopedia, the London fetish club Torture Garden keeps a strict dress code: fetish, SM, body art, drag, rubber, leather and pvc are allowed, but cotton t-shirts, street clothes or ordinary club wear are not. In a 2022 report an organizer summed it up simply: something you would wear to the shop just like that does not count. At swingers clubs it is usually more relaxed, with theme nights or just ‘well groomed’, but the idea is the same.
Why clubs use a dress code
A dress code turns loose visitors into one crowd that has taken the same step. Anyone who makes the effort to dress up shows they take the evening seriously, and that keeps out onlookers who only come to gawk. For a newcomer that can be a hurdle: the right clothes cost money and nerve, and not everyone knows straight away what fits. That is why it pays to read what applies beforehand, because clubs differ enormously, and at the door there is no more room to put anything right.
Sources
- Torture Garden (fetish club). Wikipedia. Provides the example of a strict dress code: fetish, SM, rubber, leather and pvc are allowed, cotton t-shirts, street clothes and ordinary club wear are not.
Related terms
- Swinging. The club world where a dress code often sets the tone of the evening.
- Fetish party. The party with the strictest dress codes, where the clothing is the theme.
- Play party. A different kind of evening with its own rules at the door.
- Latex. The material that at many fetish parties is exactly what the dress code asks for.
- Lifestyle. The scene where evenings like these and their rules belong.
- Munch. The low-key counterpart, without a dress code, just in a café.
Frequently asked questions
What people still ask about dress codes.
What is a dress code?
A dress code is a clothing rule a club or party sets so you can get in. At swingers clubs and fetish parties the dress code sets the mood and helps decide who fits. The rules range from smartly dressed to head-to-toe fetish wear.
What happens if you don't follow the dress code?
At the strict end you simply do not get in. Fetish clubs like Torture Garden turn people away in ordinary street clothes at the door. At swingers clubs it is often more relaxed, but reading the rules in advance saves a letdown on the spot.
Who can you turn to with questions about dress codes?
Victor, a gigolo with about twenty-five years of experience and a background as a psychotherapist. Going somewhere together and unsure about the clothing? He is happy to think it over with you, no obligation. You can reach him through the contact form or first chat for free.
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Still have questions about dress codes?
I am Victor, a gigolo. Want to go to a club or party together and not sure what to wear? I am happy to think it over with you, no strings attached. Ask your question, no obligation, and I will message you back at your own pace.