Glossary
SAM
The submissive who does not ask for his spanking, but earns it by needling.
What is a SAM?
A SAM, in full Smart Ass Masochist, is a submissive masochist who deliberately provokes the dominant to draw out punishment or pain. Instead of asking for a spanking, a SAM earns it by being cheeky, breaking rules, or needling. The term belongs in the BDSM scene.
| Abbreviation of | Smart Ass Masochist |
| Also known as | sammy, smart-ass masochist |
| Category | a type of submissive within BDSM, closely related to the brat |
| Drive | pain and impact play, earned by provoking instead of asking for it |
| Difference from a brat | a brat provokes for the power, a SAM provokes for the pain; and a SAM is always a masochist |
| Limit to watch | provoking must not tip into topping from the bottom |
How a SAM goes about it
A SAM rarely asks directly for what he wants. According to a kink encyclopedia the main drive of a SAM is impact play, and the pleasure is in the comeuppance: the over-the-knee spanking or another form of funishment, the playful variant of punishment. The cheekiness is therefore not disobedience in itself, but the route to the reaction he is after.
Why people enjoy it
The fun is in the cat-and-mouse game. For a SAM, provoked punishment is more exciting than requested punishment, because the tension of the provoking is added to it, and for the dominant there is the kick of the taming. Where it goes wrong: when the needling shifts from play to steering. Then it becomes topping from the bottom, which the encyclopedia describes as agreeing to submit but still trying to steer the scene against the agreed division of power. The difference is in whether the agreements hold. A safeword keeps both sides honest.
Where this fits on this site
If you recognize yourself in that provoking and want to see how an experienced dominant responds to it, that is exactly the game of a BDSM date. I am Victor, a gigolo. We agree beforehand on how far the needling can go, so it stays play and does not become a fight.
Sources
- Top, bottom, switch. Wikipedia. Gives the definition of topping from the bottom as agreeing to submit but still steering the scene against the agreed division of power, by which healthy needling can be told apart.
Related terms
- Brat. The nearest relative, who provokes for the power instead of the pain.
- BDSM. The wider practice within which the SAM falls as a submissive type.
- Masochism. The enjoyment of pain that underlies the word SAM.
- Topping from the bottom. The limit where provoking tips into steering.
- S-type. The umbrella name for the surrendering side, which the SAM falls under.
Frequently asked questions
Questions about this term
What is a SAM?
A SAM, in full Smart Ass Masochist, is a submissive masochist who deliberately provokes the dominant to draw out punishment or pain. Instead of asking for it, a SAM earns his spanking by being cheeky or breaking rules.
Who can you ask about a SAM?
About provoking, being tamed, and where the limit lies, I am glad to talk. I am Victor, a gigolo with over 25 years of experience in BDSM, and I know the game of a SAM from both sides. Ask your question with no obligation or through chatting for free.
Learn more
Still have questions about a SAM?
I am Victor, a gigolo, at home in BDSM for over 25 years. Do you recognize yourself in the needling and provoking, and want to see how an experienced dominant handles it? Send me a message, I will text you back at your ease.