Glossary
OSO
A metamour can be a stranger. OSO stresses that there is a real bond.
What is an OSO?
OSO stands for other significant other: someone you have a meaningful bond with within a non-monogamous constellation. The term is often used interchangeably with metamour, your partner’s partner, but OSO stresses that there is a real bond and not only a connection through one shared person.
| Stands for | other significant other |
| Category | a term from polyamory and ethical non-monogamy |
| In Dutch | “andere belangrijke ander” |
| Two meanings | a metamour you have a bond with yourself, or a partner of your own alongside your main partner |
| Difference from metamour | a metamour can be a stranger; OSO stresses the bond of your own |
| Related to | metamour and compersion |
What OSO exactly refers to
The term has two common meanings, both of which the best-known poly dictionary, More Than Two by Eve Rickert and Franklin Veaux, names: OSO is your partner’s other partner, that is a metamour, or it’s a partner of your own alongside your main partner. In both cases the word “significant” puts the emphasis on someone who genuinely matters. That such bonds can be more than a name on paper shows in research on collaborating metamours: Archives of Sexual Behavior described how partners of the same person sometimes build a collaborative bond of their own.
Why people use the word
The appeal of OSO is that it acknowledges a bond that would otherwise stay nameless. Where metamour is neutral and can also point to a stranger, OSO says this person counts for you. That helps in a polycule to make clear how the relationships lie, and it makes room for compersion, feeling glad at someone else’s happiness. Because the word is used in two ways, it is handy to say briefly what you mean by it, so there’s no confusion about who exactly is who.
Where this fits on this site
I’m not a partner in a polycule and no relationship therapist. What I do is meet a woman who, with the consent of any partner she has, is looking for room for attention. How an arrangement like that goes is on my services. You’re not tied to anything if you ask a question first.
Sources
- “Storming then Performing”: Historical Non-Monogamy and Metamour Collaboration. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 2021. Provides that partners of the same person, that is metamours or OSOs, can build a collaborative bond of their own, which shows that such relationships are more than just a name.
- More Than Two Polyamory Glossary. Eve Rickert & Franklin Veaux. Provides the two meanings of other significant other (OSO): your partner’s other partner, that is a metamour, and a partner of your own alongside your main partner.
Related terms
OSO names a meaningful bond within a non-monogamous constellation. The terms below sit around it.
- Metamour. Your partner’s partner, which OSO is often swapped with, but with more emphasis on the bond of your own.
- Polyamory. The form of several love relationships in which the word OSO mostly belongs.
- Ethical non-monogamy. The broader field in which these relationships exist.
- Compersion. Feeling the pleasure your partner takes in an OSO or metamour.
Frequently asked questions
Questions about this term
What is an OSO?
OSO stands for other significant other: someone you have a meaningful bond with within a non-monogamous constellation. The term is often used interchangeably with metamour, but OSO stresses that there is a real bond, not only a connection through one shared person.
What is the difference between an OSO and a metamour?
A metamour is neutral: your partner’s partner, even if the two of you barely know each other. OSO, other significant other, stresses that it’s about someone who genuinely matters. The words overlap, but OSO puts the emphasis on a meaningful bond.
Who can you turn to with questions about OSO?
Victor, a gigolo with twenty-five years of experience and a background as a psychotherapist. Poly terms like OSO and metamour come up often with the women who write to him, and he’ll think them over with you, with no obligation. You can ask him a question through the contact form or first chat for free.
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Still have questions about OSO?
I'm Victor. Poly terms like OSO and metamour come up often with the women who write to me. Feel free to ask what's on your mind, no obligation, I'll message you back whenever suits you.