Glossary
Gratuity
A gesture afterward that you decide entirely yourself, and that stands apart from what you agree up front.
What is a gratuity?
A gratuity (also a tip; Dutch: fooi) is a voluntary extra payment afterward, on top of the agreed price, as a token of appreciation. A gratuity is required nowhere, but in some circles it is customary. How much you give, and whether you give anything, is entirely up to you.
| Dutch term | fooi; drinkgeld means the same |
| Category | a money term within sex work and services |
| What it is | a voluntary extra payment afterward, on top of the price |
| Origin | a French loanword, in Dutch since 1651 |
| Required? | no, nowhere; customary to different degrees per country and circle |
| Key point | the agreed price stands apart from the gratuity |
How a gratuity works
A gratuity stands apart from the bill. According to the encyclopedia it is money a client gives voluntarily on top of the agreed price, and whether it is customary differs strongly from country to country and situation to situation. In an American restaurant a tip is almost obligatory and fifteen to twenty percent counts as normal, while in the Netherlands you round up or leave some change if you’re satisfied. In some places a tip is not expected at all and can even feel awkward. The word itself is a French loanword that has been in Dutch since 1651, grown out of a sense of a journey and later a parting gift, until it took on the meaning it has now: a gift for a service rendered.
A gratuity in the sex work world
In the sex work world a gratuity works the same way, voluntary and afterward. The agreed price is the whole appointment, and a gratuity stands entirely apart from it. In some circles it is customary to give something extra after a good meeting, in others not at all. For you as a client that mostly means calm: a gratuity is never a hidden expectation and never a way to stretch the appointment afterward. What was agreed up front stays put.
What I see of it myself
Some women want to give something extra after a good date anyway. I tell them it really isn’t necessary, because the price we agreed is the whole appointment for me. If you think it’s a nice gesture, I appreciate it, but it changes nothing about how I’m there for you the next time.
Sources
- Gratuity. Wikipedia. Supplies that a gratuity comes voluntarily on top of the price, that the custom differs by country and situation, and that in some places a tip is not expected.
- Fooi. Etymologiebank. Supplies that fooi is a French loanword, in Dutch since 1651, that took on the meaning ‘gift for services rendered’ by way of ‘journey’ and ‘parting gift’.
Related terms
A gratuity belongs to sex work, where money and service meet.
- Sex work. The pillar: paid intimacy, where a gratuity can be a voluntary extra around the edge.
- Independent sex worker. The person who might receive a gratuity.
- Screening. Another part of the arrangement up front, apart from what you give afterward.
- Discretion. What an appointment is really about, more than money afterward.
Frequently asked questions
What people still ask about a gratuity.
What is a gratuity?
A gratuity is a voluntary extra payment afterward, on top of the agreed price, as a token of appreciation. A gratuity stands apart from the bill and is required nowhere. How much you give, and whether you give anything, is entirely up to you.
Is a gratuity required or customary?
A gratuity is never required. Whether it is customary differs strongly from country to country and circle to circle: in one, something extra is appreciated, in another it is not expected. The agreed price is the whole appointment, and a gratuity comes on top of it voluntarily, or not at all.
Who can you turn to with questions about a gratuity?
Victor, a gigolo with about twenty-five years of experience and a background as a psychotherapist. With him the agreed price is the whole appointment and a gratuity is never an expectation. If you’re unsure how he handles money, feel free to ask through the contact form or first chat for free.
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Still have questions about a gratuity?
I'm Victor, a gigolo. With me the price we agree is the whole appointment, and a gratuity is truly never needed. If you're unsure about money or rates, ask your question with no obligation, and I'll text you back when it suits you.