Anna and Victor share a secret: Victor works as a gigolo. Anna doesn’t mind sharing her husband with other women, until one day he arranges a meeting with Bianca.
I watch Victor sitting on the couch. He’s happy because he has his first date with a woman experienced in the BDSM world. Bianca is looking for someone to play with – yep, that’s what they call it in BDSM, don’t ask me why – now that her own partner is no longer available. Victor’s whole business started from his wish to become a professional Dom (a man who takes the dominant role in BDSM activities, editor’s note), so this appointment fulfills that dream. Bianca books Victor immediately for the whole night. I have no problem with his work, but after several dates when he’s been gone overnight, I notice that sometimes I find it difficult to lie in bed alone.
The next day Victor enters the house beaming. ‘Was it nice?’ I ask him. With a big grin, he responds with a full ‘yes.’ Suddenly, I notice something changing inside me. This feeling is new to me; I’ve never experienced it with other dates. When I ask why it was so good, he says he really enjoyed the intense BDSM activities. I remember that before our relationship, he was involved with someone he could play hard and firmly with. He enjoys that, but my pain threshold is too low for it. Pain can be pleasurable, but only up to a certain point. I know Victor mainly enjoys pushing the other person’s limits, and to him, the intensity doesn’t matter as much, but now I see a sparkle in his eyes that I haven’t seen before.
It stirs quite a bit in me. I instantly become insecure and wonder if he’s truly satisfied with me. What does this mean for our relationship? I carry these doubts with me for a few days. Because yes, I put him on this path and now I feel like I shouldn’t complain. Well, maybe it will just be one date and I won’t have to have the conversation with Victor, I reassure myself. But unfortunately, it doesn’t stop there. After a few days, Bianca says she wants to meet Victor again. Their first meeting did her so much good. She wants more. Damn. Immediately, I see that damned sparkle in his eyes again when he tells me. He wants more too. And my insecurity? It raises its head again.
After their second meeting, Victor comes home just as radiant. My hope that the second time would be disappointing is immediately crushed. As I listen to his story about their date, I notice my attention mainly goes to what’s happening inside me. I know I have to address this now. ‘Victor,’ I sigh, ‘I need to talk to you about something.’
To be continued.